Love Sick
by healy12
Summary: Love, friendship, deceit, lies, and life changes ensues with Clare and Eli.
1. Chapter 1

**Love Sick**

**Chapter 1: I Scream**

**By: Quinn Healy**

I don't know when it happened. Maybe it started when he drove over my glasses in the Degrassi parking lot; or maybe it started when he said 'You have beautiful eyes,' giving my his soon-to-be infamous smirk, and then hopping in his hearse and driving away. Maybe it was even now as I look into his deep emerald green eyes, with a smirk still lingering on his face.

"Write about something that pisses you off." Eli says, breaking me out of my own little haze.

I look at him with a small smile on my face; "Besides my English partner?" I retort; raising my brow.

"Ouch," He says; feigning mock hurt, but he continues to talk with all seriousness in his voice. "If there was one thing in the world you could change; what would it be?"

"My parents," I say. I continue to tell him about how they aren't getting along, and continue to have shouting matched; even when she, herself were in the same room. As I spoke about my family and our skeletons to Eli, I didn't understand why I was telling him such personal matters to him. I just met him for crying out loud! Everything was just coming out as word vomit – I just couldn't stop telling him. But deep down in my gut, I could feel like I could trust him with such emotions. But there were many things I didn't understand, like: why did I just ditch school with Eli to sit on this bench and do school work with him. Doing school work isn't the unusual part; it was the fact that I _ditched_ school – that was highly, unlike me.

"Write about that." He states.

That's when I knew the answer to my internal question. I skipped school because he challenged me; and the thing was, I wanted him to challenge me. I wanted it; needed it. But something this deep about my family – the saints, I just can't.

"I can't," I say mimicking my thoughts. "It's just too personal."

"You care too much about what people think." I could hear the challenge seeping through in his voice. I would rebut the same statement he threw at me, but it obvious that he really didn't care; he wore black, always; had black nails, and for Christ sakes, he drove a hearse!

"_That_ is not true." I say lamely, knowing where this was heading. He will have me do something, totally embarrassing like KC did to me, just to prove that I did care. But it was always true that I did care, _a lot_. The harassment was just one of the many reasons why I got laser eye surgery; chopped off my long locks, and changing my wardrobe.

"Prove it," Eli says, looking at me. "Scream. At the top of your lungs."

"Ah," I yell, but my yell dies down at the end. I can feel a little pink tint rising to my cheeks, because people started to look at me.

"That's the _best_ you can do?" Eli scoffs at me.

_ Why am I so afraid of screaming,_ I ask myself. Is it because I grew up being taught to represent our family as a whole, and not just myself? This slightly angered me. When do I get to be me, a normal teenager, and not some bible thumping goody-two-shoes?

That's it. I'm going to scream a real scream. I smile at Eli as I stand up and straightened out the wrinkles out of my dress. I inhale and let it all out. I scream for KC for cheating on me; I scream for Jenna using me; I scream for my parents fighting all the time; I scream for perfection. I scream.

I let out a sigh and smiled. It really did feel to everything, but nothing out in the air. I cross my arms and turn to Eli with a smirk of my own, and raise an eye brow at him. "Your turn," I say, still exhilarated from screaming.

"Yeah… not really my style."

That's when I started to laugh; I walked towards him, pointing my finger at him. "You have to; I had to," I giggled irratically.

"Not my style." He smiles and laughs all the same.

"You have to; I had-" I stopped breathlessly; Eli's hands were around my wrist. That's when I realized that I had backed him up against a pole. I looked him in the eyes. It was sort of like seeing Eli for the first time all over again. He was pale-ish; he had the darkest hair that fell in his emerald eyes. He was so different than anyone I have ever known. He was unique, so distinctly himself. He was just Eli.

I looked from his mouth to his eyes. _Do I like Eli? Why is my heart beating so fast? Does Eli like me? WHY won't my heart stop beating out of my chest? _So many questions eluded me at once, that I had to pull away. I walked over to the bench, with a shy smile on my face. I looked over at Eli – he was leaning against the pole, looking at me with a smile on his face.

"Eli, I…"

"Yeah, we should get back to school now." He began to walk away, and I trailed behind him.

I held my head low, and shook my head. Eli is going to be the death of me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Love Sick**

**Chapter 2: Interference **

**By: Quinn Healy**

Denial was the only way I could get through me whole liking Eli phase. "Ali, I do not like Eli, for the fifteenth time." I say, slamming my locker shut. I told myself, 'No more boys through my High School career' after the KC and Jenna fiasco. I just didn't want to get hurt again.

I _know_ I like Eli, but I don't know if he likes me. I'd rather lie to myself than get hurt again; but it's so hard when your head and your heart are saying two different things. Maybe I was just never meant for the whole, falling in love, and living happily ever after ordeal. Maybe I'll just settle for friendship with Eli, but I don't think my heart wants that.

"Clare, get over it. You know you like him." Ali sighed when she looked over my shoulder. I didn't have to look behind me to see what she was longingly looking at.

"Still pining after Drew?"

"Yeah."

I laughed, and shook my head. Why was she trying to pair me off with Eli when she was having a hard time to even muster up all the confidence she has to talk to 'QB 1, Drew Torres'.

"Anyway," Ali flips her hair behind her shoulder. "I think that you like him. I mean, when you told me about your date-."

"Not a date," I cut her off.

"Whatever." She says blandly and continues, "And when you started to talk about him messaging you last night, you had that twinkly, guy-dreaming face going on. I say you like him, and you just in denial."

"But you can't even talk to Drew."

She rolls her eyes, "Yes, but I admit to liking him."

I lean against my locker in defeat. She was right. Eventually, I will have to face Eli, and when I face him, I will have to face my feelings about him, everyday.

"Gosh," I mumble to myself. "When did I turn into the girl who thought about boys all the time?" Well, at least it's better than thinking about my parents fighting and what it may lead to.

The warning bell rang for the sixth block of the day. "Ah, Clare," Ali says in such a smug matter. I look up at her, and her voice wasn't the only thing that was smug, she had a smirk that made you want to slap it off of her face. Besides, it didn't suit her; it should only be placed on Eli's face. Ugh, _Eli._ "It's Eli time." She finishes.

I shook my head and walked off. Not only was I going to face Eli, I was going to face the wrath of Ms. Dawes. I am pretty sure she was going to be really mad with me, considering I ditched her class yesterday.

I walked into Ms. Dawes class, and sat down in my usual seat. Of course Eli was the last of the students to walk into the classroom, but followed by him, was Ms. Dawes.

"Clare! Eli!" She exclaimed. "Let me guess; did you come down with the stomach flu?"

"No," I began. "We were actually working on our English papers.

"Huh, that's a new one. But you still have detention." I sunk down in my seat a little after hearing the words 'you' and 'detention'. "Let's hear it."

"Me?" I ask. I didn't hear what she said before, but I was guessing she wanted to hear the paper I wrote when I ditched her class.

"Yes you."

I sighed and walked up to the front of the class. I looked up at every one of my classmates, and my eyes landed on Eli last. I began to read my paper; my voice getting tight with tears. I couldn't believe I was reading my dirty laundry to my whole class. But my voice got caught up with fear and tears.

"There's more." I say.

Ms. Dawes smiled at me and raised her hand. "I've heard enough." She looked down at Eli. "What do you think Mr. Goldsworthy?"

"I think it deserves a bigger audience." I could feel my eyes bulge out of my eye sockets when he said this.

"Ah, I think I will sign you up for the student show case." Dawes says.

I walked back to my seat, "My mom is going to be there," I scolded Eli. I look down at my paper that was going to get me killed by my parents once I read it at the student show case. I could thank Eli for this and for getting me detention.

Maybe getting over Eli won't be that hard.


	3. Chapter 3

**Love Sick**

**Chapter 3: Slow but Steady**

**By: Quinn Healy**

"A sophomore in 11th grade advanced English, Clare Edwards." When Sav introduced me to the crowd, a few things happened simultaneously: I saw my mother sit down in the auditorium as she waved to me; I saw Sav beckon to me to come on stage; I saw Eli give me his signature smirk to encourage me, then, my heart felt like it stopped beating. It was like time stopped. It was exactly how they portrayed it in the movies; everything was happening in slow motion.

I looked out at the crowed one last time. _I can't do this;_ at least not in front of my peers and their parents. I could not embarrass my family, and myself this way. I would love to take Eli's little challenges any day of the week, just not today.

Time caught up with me; everything wasn't moving so slow anymore. It came faster.

I looked over at Eli one last time, and shook my head at him, and walked out; out of the auditorium, and right out of the school. I just wish I could walk out on my parent's fighting like that.

It took mom an hour to get home; I know this because I just stared at the digital clock on the stove. I had to talk to her about everything, even if she just gave me little information. I knew Eli was right, when he said I should just come out and ask them, but with a subject so sensitive should be brought about in a subtle manner.

"Clare!" My mom yells, as she walks into the kitchen. "What happened to you? You never get stage fright. Is everything okay?" She rambled on.

I sighed; it was now or never.

"I should ask you the same thing." I hop off the stool with my paper in hand, and walk over to my mother. "This was the paper I was going to read for the student show case." She took the paper from the hands.

She reads it for what seems like forever. Mom doesn't say one work, or make one gesture; she just stared blankly at my assignment, as if she were trying to decipher a Sudoku puzzle.

"Please," I plead, "Just talk to him. I want to know. You want to know. Just do it already." I bow my head, "Please…" I cannot break down; I will not break down. Not in front of her at least. I will wait until I am alone.

If my parents won't stay strong, I will.

"I want to know but, I'm afraid of what the answer will be."

I shake my head and make my way upstairs. I feel… _How do I feel?_ There are too many emotions to pinpoint one. I feel, angry, hurt, scared.

I plop myself on my bed, and place a pillow on my head to engulf myself in the dark.

I wish my family and myself could go back to normal; before KC, before Darcy turned psycho, before Darcy was raped. If everything went back to the way things were before I ever stepped foot in Degrassi, maybe my parents wouldn't be fighting or I wouldn't have an English partner, with a devilish smirk that drives me mad.

I roll on to my side – the pillow falling off my face; I see the clock on my nightstand. That's when I start to narrate my life out loud, not caring if my mom heard me. "And the door slams."

"Why weren't you at Clare's show case?" My mother yelled. It wasn't like I actually read it, to the crowd.

It was getting to the point where I could hear them pretty clearly from upstairs.

"I told you Helen, I had a meeting."

"And that is the beginning of round two." I say to myself.

"Oh, you're ALWAYS at a meeting. When are you ever not in a meeting?"

"And cue the fridge door slamming." I say walking out onto the stairs, looking at my parents; they didn't even see me. How did my life become a soap opera?

"You know what," my mom says softly – slightly defeated. "Clare was going to read _this_ at the show case." She handed my paper to him. My stomach slightly dropped a little.

"I need to go." I tip-toed down the stairs, and as soon as I reached the door, I heard my dad say in such a low voice 'I think it's time we talked,' I walked out of my house, sighed happily, that they are finally talking; that's when I saw the black hearse.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, confused.

Eli smirks, "I Eli, how are you? Fine Clare; thanks for asking."

I give him an exasperated look, with a shy smile on my face. "Hi."

"If you don't want to tell your mom how you're feeling; I respect that." Hey says, hands behind his back.

I crossed my arms across my chest and walk over to him. "Too late," I say.

"You read her the letter?" He asks confused.

"She wants to know as much as I do." I pause. "They are talking right now."

"So," Eli begins, I can feel his arrogance coming. "What you are saying is, my plan worked?"

"Could you be more smug?" I scoff.

"_Absolutely!_" Eli pauses. "Here," He takes off his old headphones that he _always_ wears, and hands them to me. "You might want to borrow these. They're a noise cancelation; if things get worse with your folks, or you just want to ignore an English partner.

"Thanks." I smile and blush a little.

"…and I'm sorry for interfering. I won't do it again." Eli says, and he opens the door to his hearse.

I walk over to him, setting my hand on top of his and look him in the eyes, "Um, you can interfere whenever you want, but I'm still going to do what I want."

He looks at our hands, and then looks at me. "I wouldn't have it anything less."

Eli gets in and drives away, just like he did when he ran over my glasses.

I watch as he drives off into the distance. When he is totally out of my vision, I walk over to my stoop and sit on the stairs looking at the headphones he gave me.

"God, Eli." I smile, "You make it hard to stay mad at you."


End file.
